How to Regain Testimony After Doubts?

This article is a written summary of a podcast interview featuring Bridger Coburn, a TikTok content creator and host of the Talking Doctrine podcast. In this conversation, Bridger shares his deeply personal faith journey—one that includes spiritual experiences, a mission, a faith crisis fueled by social media and the CES Letter, and ultimately a conscious, informed decision to believe again. The central question explored throughout the discussion is one many Latter-day Saints ask quietly and sincerely: How do you regain your testimony after doubts?

TL;DR: How to Regain Testimony After Doubts

Regaining a testimony after doubts often begins with an honest confrontation of questions, followed by a deliberate choice to believe when certainty is not possible. Bridger’s story shows that faith can be rebuilt through informed study, righteous sources, personal revelation, and a willingness to accept complexity. In his experience, spiritual confirmation came after the decision to believe—not before—and that choice led to a more mature, fortified testimony.

Watch the Original Video Conversation

 

A Foundation of Faith and Early Spiritual Experiences

Bridger begins by sharing that his life itself started with what he considers a miracle. Born several weeks early due to a doctor’s spiritual impression, he entered the world with the umbilical cord wrapped and knotted around his neck. This near-death experience shaped his lifelong belief that God had a purpose for him.

Though raised in the Church and born into the covenant, Bridger was not especially active as a youth. Still, God remained “on the table” for him. His first powerful spiritual experience came in ninth grade while watching a video montage of high school missionaries opening their mission calls. As he watched friends and peers he admired, he felt what he described as a clear “burning in the bosom.” That moment planted a firm desire to serve a mission.

Spiritual Decline, Addiction, and a Turning Point

Like many teenagers, Bridger struggled through high school. Over time, he drifted spiritually, becoming consumed by video games, pornography, isolation, and depression. Eventually, he reached a point of suicidal ideation and emotional exhaustion.

During a low moment, he attended church and made what he calls a “reset” decision. He began cleaning up habits and making small changes. Shortly after, he accepted an invitation to attend a choir practice—something entirely out of character for him. As the group sang “Be Still, My Soul,” he felt the Spirit powerfully for the second time in his life. That experience marked the beginning of real repentance, healing, and renewed spiritual momentum.

A Mission That Deepened—but Simplified—Faith

Bridger eventually served a mission in the California Bakersfield Mission. Entering the MTC, he again felt strong spiritual confirmation that he was exactly where he needed to be. While he admits he knew very little about Church history or even basic Book of Mormon geography at the time, the mission profoundly shaped him.

What impacted him most was not abstract doctrine, but the examples of faithful people—mission presidents, bishops, patriarchs, and fellow missionaries—whose kindness, humility, and spiritual sensitivity inspired him. He also came to love the intellectual depth of the gospel, spending late nights discussing doctrine and big ideas.

However, Bridger later realized that his testimony was built within a fragile framework: the belief that prophets were essentially infallible, that General Conference was equivalent to scripture, and that the Church had no meaningful flaws.

Marriage, Gradual Drift, and the Beginning of Doubt

After returning home, Bridger married in the temple and experienced another strong spiritual witness during his sealing. But slowly—almost imperceptibly—spiritual habits weakened. Prayers became less consistent, scripture study faded, and church attendance became sporadic.

At the same time, he began consuming more political and “progressive” Church-related content on social media. For the first time, he encountered the idea that there might be multiple faithful ways to be a member of the Church. Initially, this felt liberating.

The first serious crack in his testimony came from observing Church leaders act in ways he felt lacked charity—focusing on minor issues while overlooking kindness. Later, during the height of the Black Lives Matter movement, he encountered social media posts highlighting racist statements from past Church leaders. Because his faith framework left no room for prophetic fallibility, this realization triggered deep internal conflict and the beginning of deconstruction.

The CES Letter and the Collapse of Certainty

As his doubts grew, Bridger downloaded TikTok and immersed himself in ex-Mormon content. For months, he consumed critical videos without seriously engaging faithful responses. Eventually, he read the CES Letter in a single sitting.

His reaction was intense. He felt anger over the sacrifices he had made, grief over what he feared losing, and even a strange optimism about a life without Church standards. When he finished the CES Letter, belief felt impossible. He attended church only for his wife’s sake, unsure how to tell her that he no longer believed.

Choosing to Study Faithful Sources

While attending church during this period, Bridger unexpectedly felt the Spirit again—familiar, undeniable, and confusing. That moment prompted a crucial decision: if he had spent months studying critical sources, he would now give faithful scholarship an honest chance.

He began studying FAIR, Book of Mormon Central, BYU Studies, Interpreter articles, podcasts, and historical sources—often with the CES Letter and its responses open side by side. Though initially frustrated by complex and sometimes unsatisfying answers, one discovery changed everything: realizing how misleading some CES Letter citations were, particularly through selective quotation.

Anger turned into motivation. For weeks, Bridger studied obsessively, rebuilding and then dismantling his “shelf” piece by piece. Eventually, he reached a sobering conclusion: the truth could not be proven definitively either way.

The Decision to Believe

With that realization came clarity. Bridger recognized that there was sufficient evidence to believe—and sufficient evidence to doubt. Faith, therefore, was a choice.

He considered his future with and without the gospel. He weighed doctrines like eternal families, divine identity, purpose, redemption, and justice against a worldview of randomness and finality. He concluded that even if the Church were not true, the life it encouraged was good. And if it was true, the implications were eternally meaningful.

“I’d rather take the risk of being wrong about staying,” he explained, “than right about leaving.”

Faith After Doubt: More Informed, More Mature

Bridger emphasizes that his testimony today is different. It is not simpler—but it is stronger. He describes it as more informed and therefore more fortified. While he still has unanswered questions, he believes the “burdens of unbelief” are heavier than the burdens of belief.

Importantly, he notes that spiritual confirmations came after he made the decision to believe. In his view, God consecrated that choice with peace, clarity, and renewed spiritual experiences.

Lessons for Those Struggling With Doubt

Throughout the interview, Bridger offers several principles for those seeking to regain testimony after doubts:

• Faith is meant to involve uncertainty; belief without certainty is the point.
• Apply the same scrutiny to criticisms of the Church as you do to the Church itself.
• Study both sides honestly, but prioritize righteous and credible sources.
• Be patient—answers often come gradually.
• Faith is ultimately a decision, not a conclusion forced by evidence.

Conclusion: Faith That Is Chosen, Not Assumed

Bridger’s story demonstrates that losing certainty does not have to mean losing faith. In fact, doubts—when faced honestly—can lead to a deeper, more resilient testimony. His journey reflects a central truth of the restored gospel: God honors agency, including the agency to believe.

For those wondering how to regain testimony after doubts, this message is clear and hopeful: belief is still possible, still reasonable, and still worth choosing.